Author: Dr. Flores Page 19 of 44

Some days it’s tough to put on your game face and stay focused on the activities ahead. For some, this work-related malaise strikes on Monday, but any day of the week can have a similar impact.

The Morning Ritual

As you jump in your car, and back it out of the driveway, you’re thinking of the unused excuses that might work to call in and skip the day. A couple weeks ago, you made up a parent-teacher conference for your 5-year-old. When the manager extended the conversation by asking about your child, you added a bit more flare, informing the manager that your young daughter was having issues with Science. After you hung up, you wondered if Science is taught at that grade, but the excuse worked, and you stayed home. Once back in the house, you slept a couple more hours, and finally got your day going closer to lunchtime.

There are a few techniques that can help you stay motivated even when lethargy surfaces:

#1: Focus on something that can get done in 30 minutes or less.

When your brain is functioning as slowly as molasses, it’s important to avoid big projects or tough work. Instead, take on a small, definable, and doable task first thing in the morning. For example, you might need to write a summary of a recent meeting for the key stakeholders. Gather the information you need, and stay focused until you get it done. Once you’re done, take a short break, and top-off your coffee. It’s a small victory, but one that can give you some traction.

#2: Review the positive comments in your most recent performance appraisal.

Everyone is driven by positive recognition. You love it when others think you bring value to the team, department, and organization. During performance appraisals, managers will indicate what you have done well, and where you can improve. When feeling a bit unmotivated, review what your manager likes about you.

“Jack, you’re an excellent team player! We appreciate your commitment to our department.” By reading those comments, you’re reminded that others depend on your skills and capabilities. Instead of sitting at your desk and waiting for time to tick by, get up and ask others how you can be of assistance.

#3: Get the checklist.

When I’m having a tough time focusing, I quickly make a checklist of work that needs to get done. From previous experience, I know that if I am stagnant, I will lose the day. In fact, I might get absolutely nothing done. With the checklist in hand, I write down the absolute three items that I will get done that day. I will work on Item #1, and will not stop until it’s complete. By taking this approach, I can have a relatively successful day even though my motivation is quite low.

As a manager and leaders of your organizations, you must keep a positive attitude even when you are a bit down. If your employees see that you lack energy, they will soon emulate this emotion. Keep a professional and moving-forward approach, and you’ll have a productive workday.

Several years ago, I went to my annual medical physical, and after the routine procedures, I had a chance to chat with the doctor regarding my blood pressure, weight, and so on. Exercise has been part of my life since my days playing college baseball. It’s just something that I do nearly every day.

Controlling My Weight

After college, I gained more pounds than I wanted, and I was having a tough time getting rid of them. I even tried working out twice per day, and learned this plan failed to yield the intended results. The drawback was that I was even more tired at the end of the day, and I usually lost another hour or so of productive work.

I understand the issue of metabolism, but I also knew there people who could keep the weight off despite getting older. I wanted to know what they were doing to succeed. The annual physical gave me an opportunity to ask an expert regarding a plan that might work for me.

“Stop Eating Cheese!”

I asked the veteran doctor his advice regarding a meal plan that could improve my health, and simultaneously shed some unwanted pounds.

ME: “Dr. Keller, do you have any idea what I can do to lose weight?

KELLER: “Well, do you eat cheese?”

ME: “I guess I do. I’ve been known to eat a cheeseburger here and there. Does that count?

KELLER: “I do know that cheese can lead to weight gain. My recommendation is for you to cut back on cheese.”

ME: “Will that do the trick? I already workout, so will eating less cheese help me lose weight?”

KELLER: “I think it will lead to good results. Cheese can be bad for you.”

ME: “Okay! I will take note of the less cheese diet. Thank you.”

The Chubby Doctor

The fact is that I did not give up cheese. However, I don’t eat cheeseburgers very often anymore, but cheese is part of my diet.

A study by Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine found that overweight doctors were less likely to discuss obesity issues with patients. The researchers learned that overweight doctors usually refrain from providing weight loss advice to patients because they are failing to practice what they preach.

The fact was that I was only looking to lose about 10 lbs., and I did hesitate to ask the doctor his advice regarding my weight loss. I suppose my question was more specific to how a more fit body would improve my health.

The Answer

I eventually met my weight goal, and it wasn’t all that tough. As most people know, portion control is the key. Of course, it’s important to avoid the fatty foods, and it’s good that we have more health-conscious choices at the supermarket and restaurants. The rest is self-control, right?

Please understand that I am not a weight loss guru by any means. I do my share of reading on the subject, and try to implement what might work for me. I found it surprising, though, that I eat more cheese today that in the past, and it hasn’t added too many pounds to my body.

Over the weekend, I attended a youth soccer game here in San Antonio. This particular contest was played by kids ranging in age from 9-to-10. A boy named Caleb captured my attention. He was one of the best on the team, and I could tell that he was going to do whatever it took to win the game.

When the game began, Caleb was assigned the position of forward. In other words, he spends most of his time near the opponent’s goal hoping to strike the ball into the back of the net. This player is known for good ball handling skills, and can jostle with the best.

First Half

Caleb plays for a team called San Antonio United. On this particular day, they were playing a talented Chelsea team. While the kids were about the same age, the Chelsea players looked bigger, faster, and more agile.

United stayed close for the first part of the game. They were behind just by a couple of goals at halftime to a very good team. Caleb worked hard to get to the ball, and had several good shots on goal. However, the Chelsea goalie made excellent stops.

Second Half

At the beginning of the second half, the Chelsea strength took over, and they scored several quick goals. Before you knew it, they were up 7 to 2. Around this time, the United coach made his programmed substitution and Caleb took over the goalie role.

I was watching the game from behind the goal, and had a good perspective of how Caleb was handling the game. When first assuming the goalie duties, he stopped several strikes from the formidable Chelsea players. These boys were adept at passing the ball, which resulted in wide-open shots on goal. Eventually, several goals were scored on Caleb.

Caleb’s Reaction

I’ve watched youth soccer games for several years, and many young goalies are upset when a goal is scored on their watch, but they are sometimes nonchalant in their reaction.

Not Caleb! When a goal was scored on him, he groaned loudly, upset that he allowed a score. However, he never blamed anyone. He took full responsibility, and was ready for the next attack on his goal.

His father was heard yelling:

“Caleb, that was a tough shot. You couldn’t do much about it.”

“Good try, Caleb! You’ll stop it next time.”

Those words of encouragement helped Caleb stay focused.

The Lesson

While I will probably never know Caleb when he joins the workforce, I do know that he has the skills and fortitude to be a top-notch leader. He is going to demand the best of himself, and he will not make excuses. When someone falls short on a team project, he will help that person get back on track. Best of all, he is not going to point fingers at anyone, for any reason.

San Antonio United lost to Chelsea by a score of 10-3. The game was not close, but Caleb and his team played hard until the final whistle. After the game, the players went their separate ways with their parents.

I could tell that Caleb took the loss a bit tough, especially since several goals were scored on him. In fact, I heard him say to his father, “Dad, I can’t believe I let that team score four goals on me. That will not happen again.”

What an impressive young man.

While on a Disney Cruise with my family, the cruise director was discussing the activities for the next day. Look … tomorrow we arrive at Costa Maya around 1 p.m., so that means that you don’t have to get up at Stupid O’clock! While I’m sure he’s used this line many times, it was still funny for the many vacations-goers that filled Walt Disney Lounge. I even chuckled!  

Stupid O’clock Has Its Benefits

I agree that getting up super early while on vacation is counterproductive to relaxing.  However, when back home and in the routine, there are notable benefits. Many years ago, I heard a motivational speaker stress the importance of an early start each day, and I’ve heeded that advice ever since.

Here are smart things to do early in the morning:

• Get your workout done!

  For most of you, the day becomes complicated as it progresses. While you have a schedule, you can expect things to change, such as a new requirement that arises on a mission critical project. You might also have a child who becomes ill, which changes your plans for the rest of the day. I also lose interest in doing my workout late in the day. I prefer to spend my time with family, friends, and even catching a ballgame on TV. Can you imagine that?

• Focus on professional development.

  A big secret to successful people is that they are up at Stupid O’clock working on professional development goals. In my case, I spend an hour or so reading-up on project management and technology topics. I do teach these topics for a living so preparation is essential. The early morning is also an excellent time to study for certification exams. I find it very difficult to set aside even a half-hour for professional development once the day begins, so doing this work before the sun rises works for me.

• Do the first pass of your Inbox.

  After my workout, I make sure and review emails. Given that I have a tight schedule in the morning, the goal is to understand what is waiting for me before I arrive at the office. In some cases, I need to make phone calls regarding the emails I received overnight. Therefore, I will jot down the phone numbers and call during my commute to work. This is an excellent time-saving activity.

I’m writing this blog while sitting on the balcony of my stateroom. Through my headsets, I am listening to enchanting classical music, and I can still hear the waves caused by the moving cruise liner as it sails through the Western Caribbean. I did get up at Stupid O’clock to workout, but it’s around 10 a.m. now, and I found a little time to write this blog before enjoying the rest of the day with the family.

The problem with Stupid O’clock is that it’s different for everyone. For some, getting up at 9 a.m. might be stupid, while others might consider those who wake up at 9 a.m. stupid. I suppose it really doesn’t matter because we all have our unique schedules.

Thus, Stupid O’clock is probably just a saying that sounds right while on vacation. It did the trick!

Many people take themselves too seriously. They sometimes think they are better than they really are. When they get a nice job and a good salary, they adopt a swagger. They walk into a restaurant thinking they own the place, and when drinks are slow in arriving, they are vociferous in their disgust.

This situation reminds me of a story that a friend told me, and I would like to share it with you. As it goes, a man (“Showboat”) decides to wield his power during dinner at a restaurant with colleagues. He is unhappy that the service is falling short of his expectations.

Showboat: How long ago did we order our drinks?

Colleague: A few minutes ago.

Showboat: Don’t these people know that we need our drinks right away? This is ridiculous! I’ve been coming to this place for years. I’ve given so much money to this restaurant. I’m going to call the owner and tell him that he is doing a poor job. You would think that they would know me by now. When I walk in, my martini should be waiting for me.

Colleague: Really … he just took the drink order. It is a bit busier tonight. If we give them a couple more minutes, we will have the drinks.

Showboat: A couple minutes … a couple minutes … a couple minutes … no way! I’m far too important to wait that long for my drinks. Think about how long it will take to get my food. My time is worth far more to me. The people around here are hourly workers, so they don’t care how long it takes. Look at them! They are walking around with stupid smiles on their faces. This is far from funny to me.

Colleague: Well, Randy … why don’t you cut them some slack. I’m sure they will be here soon.

[The drinks arrive, and Showboat is placated … for the moment. The waiter takes the food order, and the service is quick. Within 10 minutes, their food is on the table. However, Showboat is unhappy because the butter is missing. He wants it now! He motions for the waiter to come over.]

Showboat: Sir, do you know that the butter is missing?

Waiter: Let me get that for you right away.

[Irritated, Showboat wants to make a point to the waiter.]

Showboat: Sir, I don’t think you know who I am! Let me tell you. I own two businesses here in town. I have a membership at an exclusive gold club. I frequently travel to Europe, Asia, and Africa. I own one of the biggest houses in this town. That’s who I am! When I ask for butter, it’s important that I get it right away!

Waiter: Sir, I don’t think you know who I am.

Showboat: You got me there. I don’t know who you are.

Waiter: I’m the guy in charge of the butter!

What’s the point here? Even if you own the biggest house, play golf with the rich, and travel the world, but you must avoid getting a big head. When you do, the guy in charge of the butter can quickly deflate your prominence.

Every now and then, I hear stories that are hard to believe. I’m quite inquisitive, and I keep asking questions to learn more about the unusual things that reach my ears. I remember speaking to an acquaintance who shared a unique way to “sneak” out of the house.

Here’s the conversation:

CRYSTAL: Hey, Jimmie! How are you doing?

ME: What’s going on, Crystal! How’s the Zumba stuff coming along?

CRYSTAL: I’m going at least four times per week, usually after work. Do you think it’s making a difference?

ME: Yeah … I believe it is. You are looking very fit. Heck, you probably need to start teaching it now.

CRYSTAL: You’re too nice. I think I’ll pass on that because I don’t have the time to become a “licensed instructor.”

ME: Hey! How’s your husband doing? Is he still working at Clear Vision?

CRYSTAL: He is … but he’s not too happy. They promoted him to manager or something like that, and he doesn’t like the “extra responsibility.”

ME: I suppose the extra stuff goes with the territory. If he doesn’t like it, he can do something else.

CRYSTAL: He works hard, but we are having a few “issues.”

ME: Really?

CRYSTAL: You know … it’s hard for me to be home on weekend nights. He just wants to sit around and watch TV. That’s not for me!

ME: How do you handle that situation?

CRYSTAL: Well, you’re not going to believe this, but I did something that was not very nice.

ME: What’s that?

CRYSTAL: Last Friday night, he decided that we had to have KFC. C’mon! I’m not going to eat fried chicken. Anyway, while he was out getting the food, I got a call from a friend asking if I wanted to have a drink with her. I told her that I was already home, but she was persistent. I said, “Why not?”

ME: Did you go?

CRYSTAL: Yeah! I quickly jumped into my car and took off! Within 10 minutes I was sitting down having a margarita with my friend. It was a good margarita! You know … I like it on the rocks with plenty of salt!

ME: What about your husband?

CRYSTAL: I called him from TGI Friday’s and told him that I decided against KFC. He wasn’t too happy with me, but I did invite him to come over. He was too mad to consider that option.

ME: I hope you finally made it home.

CRYSTAL: A couple other friends joined us, and we had a ton of laughs. It was fun, but I knew my husband would be quite upset with me when I got home.

ME: Was he?

CRYSTAL: That’s the understatement of the century! Century means 100 years, right?

ME: I think so.

CRYSTAL: I ended up having to promise never to do that stuff again. It was wrong, but for a couple hours I did have some awesome fun!

As crazy as this story might sound, I actually heard it from my acquaintance. I’ve shared it several times with friends, and no one seems to believe it. I did run into Crystal not long ago, and we both laughed even before saying a word. We both had the same story flashing through our minds at right about the same time.

I attended a New Year’s party in Austin and had the opportunity to meet some new people. There were a few family members in attendance, but most everyone else was a stranger.

The “Getting to Know You” Scene

Many years ago, I took a Dale Carnegie course, which helped me to strike up a conversation with someone I didn’t know. However, a course is just a course. To operate well in this environment, you must have something to share with another person.

However, sharing might mean nothing more than active listening. I’ve found that most people are perfectly fine dominating a conversation … talking about their many professional successes, their unbelievable children, and how many times they ski each year. When encountering those situations, you must work hard to act interested.

The “Millionaire”

There was non-stop food at this party. My guess is that at least 15 families attended, and each brought at least one excellent dish. The Peruvian ceviche was spectacular, and so were the many desserts.

Around 9:30 p.m., I grabbed a plate of food and found an empty seat at a bar table. Shortly thereafter, a man (Mike) who appeared to be in his 40s sat next to me, and a conversation began.

MIKE: How are you?

ME: I’m doing great. Excellent food here!

MIKE: Yeah! Food from everywhere, but I haven’t seen any Italian.

ME: Italian is a favorite of mine. I love visiting Italy as much as possible.

MIKE: I’ve told people not to visit Italy and Greece. Those two countries are about to fall apart.

ME: Really? I’ve been to both recently and had a terrific time. I understand the economy is tough in Greece, but there is still plenty to do from a tourist-standpoint. I guess we Americans help the economy by spending money there. Have you visited recently?

MIKE: No. I’ve never been there, but I tell others not to go. I’m busy with my family, and don’t want to travel. My family is important to me, and now more than ever. Money is not too important to me. I’ve been a millionaire from age 23, so my priorities are different.

The “Real” Story 

After my discussion with Mike, I ran into an acquaintance who knew a bit more about the situation. He told me that Mike and a colleague bought and sold homes, and the values sometimes exceeded $1M. In other words, the bank still owned the properties.

The point here is that Mike reminded me of the importance of getting a second opinion. While I understand that some European economies are struggling, the fact is that visiting and even living in Europe can be a terrific experience.

Like most Americans, I know there is no place like home. My family and I live in San Antonio, and we love it. We love Texas because of the many friends and family that we have. If you think of it, the Italians and Greeks likely have a similar feeling about their countries.

While attending high school in a small town in Kansas, I observed a situation that reinforced the importance of confidence. When you are confident about your chances of success, you are more likely to take a leap of faith. Of course, you must be prepared to fail.

The Date Example

While I was born in Uvalde, Texas, I grew up in Montezuma, Kansas, a small, rural town in the Southwest part of the Sunflower State. As a sophomore in high school, one of my best friends was Jeff, and he was a class ahead of me. We both played on the basketball team, and we made it a habit to hang out after practice.

Like most other boys that age, Jeff and I talked about sports and girls. At one point, Jeff shared with me that he met a cute girl from a nearby town. Ingalls was only 16 miles from Montezuma, and we were rivals.

Jeff was excited because he had his first date this coming Saturday. The plan was dinner and a movie in Dodge City. The plan was for him to pick her up in Ingalls and head right over to Dodge.

I asked, “Are you going to kiss her on the first date?” He replied, “That’s the plan, but I’m not sure yet.”

On the Sunday after the date, Jeff came to my house in the afternoon. Given that we lived only a few blocks apart, it was a quick walk. I asked him how it went, and he talked endlessly about the dinner and the movie, but nothing else. No kiss!

“Jeff, why didn’t you at least give her a peck on the cheek?”

“It just didn’t feel right. I think she likes me, and I like her, but I couldn’t force myself to do it.”

The rest of the story is that Jeff went out with this pretty cheerleader three more times, and never had the courage to give her a kiss. I talked to Jeff recently while visiting Montezuma, and I reminded him of the story.

He said, “I’m pretty sure she thought I was a dork for being so timid. It was embarrassing that everyone in school knew about this crazy story!”

Takeaway

There are many times in life when you need to take a chance. While ou might fall short, you can learn from the failure. You can only know the skills that work by trying, and you are less bothered when you fall short. The fact is success is just a matter of time. You will eventually find the breakthrough, but you give it a try.

Jeff is married and has a terrific family. In fact, he earned a college degree from a reputable university, and works for the Kansas Department of Wildlife, Parks and Tourism. The timidity he showed when dating the cheerleader is now long gone, and his confidence is unmistakable.

The next time you are presented with a challenging situation, take a step forward and accept the challenge. Even if you fall a bit short, the experience will make you better. You’ll break the code, but it will take effort and patience.

Over the past 20 years, I’ve stayed at many hotels in the United States and around the globe. When I was 22 years old, I was hired to referee men’s college basketball, which meant that I traveled quite a bit, including games at the University of Hawaii and the Great Alaska Shootout in Anchorage.

I’ve learned quite a few tricks that make my hotel stay better, and I can share some with you. You may know some of these tactics, but others might be new to you.

For “Friendly” Discounts, Call the Hotel Directly

Like many people, I do my hotel searches on the web. I like to use aggregate websites, such as Orbitz or Hotels.com. Once I have a general idea regarding the pricing among the hotels of interest, I select the one that offers the most amenities. While the online sites generate competitive pricing, I will sometimes call the hotel directly to discuss details. For example, I want to know the type of breakfast (full vs. continental) offered in the morning, and whether Wi-Fi access is included in the price.

When calling the hotel, I sometimes use this joking line: “Mark, I’m sure you can beat the Orbitz price! After all, don’t I sound like a terrific customer?” After a laugh, Mark is likely to respond by saying, “Let me see what I can do.” In most cases, he will beat the online price, even if just by 5%.

Don’t Buy the Water!

Bottled water is expensive at hotels. You can expect to pay $4 or more for this fine beverage. Before arriving at the hotel, I will usually buy a cheap bottle of water from a convenience store. Once I have the bottle, I can fill it up at the fitness room. Even if you don’t work out, you can still drink the water. If you wish to save even a bit more money, you can take an empty container with you, such as a Contingo.

Stay at Hotels that Offer Breakfast and Lounge Options

When traveling to Davao, Philippines, I always stay at the Marco Polo. I usually pay a $30 or so “premium” price to have breakfast and lounge access included. I like the breakfast option because there is no reason to leave the hotel early in the morning. In the evenings, you can relax by having drinks and hors d’oeuvres. When traveling for business, I’m usually alone, which makes eating at the hotel a good option.

There are many hotels here in the States in which both breakfast and evening snacks are provided, and it doesn’t cost extra. When doing your online searches, look for hotels that offer more bang for your buck.

After 9/11, traveling became more difficult. When arriving at my hotel, I want to have the amenities that are important to me. I look for hotels that offer most of what I need without leaving the building. In fact, if my meeting is at the hotel, I make sure that shuttle service is included.

Thus, saving money is a small part of this discussion. The bigger benefits are saving time and the peace of mind that you have what you need for a comfortable and productive stay.