Month: March 2015 Page 3 of 6

Many people take themselves too seriously. They sometimes think they are better than they really are. When they get a nice job and a good salary, they adopt a swagger. They walk into a restaurant thinking they own the place, and when drinks are slow in arriving, they are vociferous in their disgust.

This situation reminds me of a story that a friend told me, and I would like to share it with you. As it goes, a man (“Showboat”) decides to wield his power during dinner at a restaurant with colleagues. He is unhappy that the service is falling short of his expectations.

Showboat: How long ago did we order our drinks?

Colleague: A few minutes ago.

Showboat: Don’t these people know that we need our drinks right away? This is ridiculous! I’ve been coming to this place for years. I’ve given so much money to this restaurant. I’m going to call the owner and tell him that he is doing a poor job. You would think that they would know me by now. When I walk in, my martini should be waiting for me.

Colleague: Really … he just took the drink order. It is a bit busier tonight. If we give them a couple more minutes, we will have the drinks.

Showboat: A couple minutes … a couple minutes … a couple minutes … no way! I’m far too important to wait that long for my drinks. Think about how long it will take to get my food. My time is worth far more to me. The people around here are hourly workers, so they don’t care how long it takes. Look at them! They are walking around with stupid smiles on their faces. This is far from funny to me.

Colleague: Well, Randy … why don’t you cut them some slack. I’m sure they will be here soon.

[The drinks arrive, and Showboat is placated … for the moment. The waiter takes the food order, and the service is quick. Within 10 minutes, their food is on the table. However, Showboat is unhappy because the butter is missing. He wants it now! He motions for the waiter to come over.]

Showboat: Sir, do you know that the butter is missing?

Waiter: Let me get that for you right away.

[Irritated, Showboat wants to make a point to the waiter.]

Showboat: Sir, I don’t think you know who I am! Let me tell you. I own two businesses here in town. I have a membership at an exclusive gold club. I frequently travel to Europe, Asia, and Africa. I own one of the biggest houses in this town. That’s who I am! When I ask for butter, it’s important that I get it right away!

Waiter: Sir, I don’t think you know who I am.

Showboat: You got me there. I don’t know who you are.

Waiter: I’m the guy in charge of the butter!

What’s the point here? Even if you own the biggest house, play golf with the rich, and travel the world, but you must avoid getting a big head. When you do, the guy in charge of the butter can quickly deflate your prominence.

Every now and then, I hear stories that are hard to believe. I’m quite inquisitive, and I keep asking questions to learn more about the unusual things that reach my ears. I remember speaking to an acquaintance who shared a unique way to “sneak” out of the house.

Here’s the conversation:

CRYSTAL: Hey, Jimmie! How are you doing?

ME: What’s going on, Crystal! How’s the Zumba stuff coming along?

CRYSTAL: I’m going at least four times per week, usually after work. Do you think it’s making a difference?

ME: Yeah … I believe it is. You are looking very fit. Heck, you probably need to start teaching it now.

CRYSTAL: You’re too nice. I think I’ll pass on that because I don’t have the time to become a “licensed instructor.”

ME: Hey! How’s your husband doing? Is he still working at Clear Vision?

CRYSTAL: He is … but he’s not too happy. They promoted him to manager or something like that, and he doesn’t like the “extra responsibility.”

ME: I suppose the extra stuff goes with the territory. If he doesn’t like it, he can do something else.

CRYSTAL: He works hard, but we are having a few “issues.”

ME: Really?

CRYSTAL: You know … it’s hard for me to be home on weekend nights. He just wants to sit around and watch TV. That’s not for me!

ME: How do you handle that situation?

CRYSTAL: Well, you’re not going to believe this, but I did something that was not very nice.

ME: What’s that?

CRYSTAL: Last Friday night, he decided that we had to have KFC. C’mon! I’m not going to eat fried chicken. Anyway, while he was out getting the food, I got a call from a friend asking if I wanted to have a drink with her. I told her that I was already home, but she was persistent. I said, “Why not?”

ME: Did you go?

CRYSTAL: Yeah! I quickly jumped into my car and took off! Within 10 minutes I was sitting down having a margarita with my friend. It was a good margarita! You know … I like it on the rocks with plenty of salt!

ME: What about your husband?

CRYSTAL: I called him from TGI Friday’s and told him that I decided against KFC. He wasn’t too happy with me, but I did invite him to come over. He was too mad to consider that option.

ME: I hope you finally made it home.

CRYSTAL: A couple other friends joined us, and we had a ton of laughs. It was fun, but I knew my husband would be quite upset with me when I got home.

ME: Was he?

CRYSTAL: That’s the understatement of the century! Century means 100 years, right?

ME: I think so.

CRYSTAL: I ended up having to promise never to do that stuff again. It was wrong, but for a couple hours I did have some awesome fun!

As crazy as this story might sound, I actually heard it from my acquaintance. I’ve shared it several times with friends, and no one seems to believe it. I did run into Crystal not long ago, and we both laughed even before saying a word. We both had the same story flashing through our minds at right about the same time.

I attended a New Year’s party in Austin and had the opportunity to meet some new people. There were a few family members in attendance, but most everyone else was a stranger.

The “Getting to Know You” Scene

Many years ago, I took a Dale Carnegie course, which helped me to strike up a conversation with someone I didn’t know. However, a course is just a course. To operate well in this environment, you must have something to share with another person.

However, sharing might mean nothing more than active listening. I’ve found that most people are perfectly fine dominating a conversation … talking about their many professional successes, their unbelievable children, and how many times they ski each year. When encountering those situations, you must work hard to act interested.

The “Millionaire”

There was non-stop food at this party. My guess is that at least 15 families attended, and each brought at least one excellent dish. The Peruvian ceviche was spectacular, and so were the many desserts.

Around 9:30 p.m., I grabbed a plate of food and found an empty seat at a bar table. Shortly thereafter, a man (Mike) who appeared to be in his 40s sat next to me, and a conversation began.

MIKE: How are you?

ME: I’m doing great. Excellent food here!

MIKE: Yeah! Food from everywhere, but I haven’t seen any Italian.

ME: Italian is a favorite of mine. I love visiting Italy as much as possible.

MIKE: I’ve told people not to visit Italy and Greece. Those two countries are about to fall apart.

ME: Really? I’ve been to both recently and had a terrific time. I understand the economy is tough in Greece, but there is still plenty to do from a tourist-standpoint. I guess we Americans help the economy by spending money there. Have you visited recently?

MIKE: No. I’ve never been there, but I tell others not to go. I’m busy with my family, and don’t want to travel. My family is important to me, and now more than ever. Money is not too important to me. I’ve been a millionaire from age 23, so my priorities are different.

The “Real” Story 

After my discussion with Mike, I ran into an acquaintance who knew a bit more about the situation. He told me that Mike and a colleague bought and sold homes, and the values sometimes exceeded $1M. In other words, the bank still owned the properties.

The point here is that Mike reminded me of the importance of getting a second opinion. While I understand that some European economies are struggling, the fact is that visiting and even living in Europe can be a terrific experience.

Like most Americans, I know there is no place like home. My family and I live in San Antonio, and we love it. We love Texas because of the many friends and family that we have. If you think of it, the Italians and Greeks likely have a similar feeling about their countries.

While attending high school in a small town in Kansas, I observed a situation that reinforced the importance of confidence. When you are confident about your chances of success, you are more likely to take a leap of faith. Of course, you must be prepared to fail.

The Date Example

While I was born in Uvalde, Texas, I grew up in Montezuma, Kansas, a small, rural town in the Southwest part of the Sunflower State. As a sophomore in high school, one of my best friends was Jeff, and he was a class ahead of me. We both played on the basketball team, and we made it a habit to hang out after practice.

Like most other boys that age, Jeff and I talked about sports and girls. At one point, Jeff shared with me that he met a cute girl from a nearby town. Ingalls was only 16 miles from Montezuma, and we were rivals.

Jeff was excited because he had his first date this coming Saturday. The plan was dinner and a movie in Dodge City. The plan was for him to pick her up in Ingalls and head right over to Dodge.

I asked, “Are you going to kiss her on the first date?” He replied, “That’s the plan, but I’m not sure yet.”

On the Sunday after the date, Jeff came to my house in the afternoon. Given that we lived only a few blocks apart, it was a quick walk. I asked him how it went, and he talked endlessly about the dinner and the movie, but nothing else. No kiss!

“Jeff, why didn’t you at least give her a peck on the cheek?”

“It just didn’t feel right. I think she likes me, and I like her, but I couldn’t force myself to do it.”

The rest of the story is that Jeff went out with this pretty cheerleader three more times, and never had the courage to give her a kiss. I talked to Jeff recently while visiting Montezuma, and I reminded him of the story.

He said, “I’m pretty sure she thought I was a dork for being so timid. It was embarrassing that everyone in school knew about this crazy story!”

Takeaway

There are many times in life when you need to take a chance. While ou might fall short, you can learn from the failure. You can only know the skills that work by trying, and you are less bothered when you fall short. The fact is success is just a matter of time. You will eventually find the breakthrough, but you give it a try.

Jeff is married and has a terrific family. In fact, he earned a college degree from a reputable university, and works for the Kansas Department of Wildlife, Parks and Tourism. The timidity he showed when dating the cheerleader is now long gone, and his confidence is unmistakable.

The next time you are presented with a challenging situation, take a step forward and accept the challenge. Even if you fall a bit short, the experience will make you better. You’ll break the code, but it will take effort and patience.

Over the past 20 years, I’ve stayed at many hotels in the United States and around the globe. When I was 22 years old, I was hired to referee men’s college basketball, which meant that I traveled quite a bit, including games at the University of Hawaii and the Great Alaska Shootout in Anchorage.

I’ve learned quite a few tricks that make my hotel stay better, and I can share some with you. You may know some of these tactics, but others might be new to you.

For “Friendly” Discounts, Call the Hotel Directly

Like many people, I do my hotel searches on the web. I like to use aggregate websites, such as Orbitz or Hotels.com. Once I have a general idea regarding the pricing among the hotels of interest, I select the one that offers the most amenities. While the online sites generate competitive pricing, I will sometimes call the hotel directly to discuss details. For example, I want to know the type of breakfast (full vs. continental) offered in the morning, and whether Wi-Fi access is included in the price.

When calling the hotel, I sometimes use this joking line: “Mark, I’m sure you can beat the Orbitz price! After all, don’t I sound like a terrific customer?” After a laugh, Mark is likely to respond by saying, “Let me see what I can do.” In most cases, he will beat the online price, even if just by 5%.

Don’t Buy the Water!

Bottled water is expensive at hotels. You can expect to pay $4 or more for this fine beverage. Before arriving at the hotel, I will usually buy a cheap bottle of water from a convenience store. Once I have the bottle, I can fill it up at the fitness room. Even if you don’t work out, you can still drink the water. If you wish to save even a bit more money, you can take an empty container with you, such as a Contingo.

Stay at Hotels that Offer Breakfast and Lounge Options

When traveling to Davao, Philippines, I always stay at the Marco Polo. I usually pay a $30 or so “premium” price to have breakfast and lounge access included. I like the breakfast option because there is no reason to leave the hotel early in the morning. In the evenings, you can relax by having drinks and hors d’oeuvres. When traveling for business, I’m usually alone, which makes eating at the hotel a good option.

There are many hotels here in the States in which both breakfast and evening snacks are provided, and it doesn’t cost extra. When doing your online searches, look for hotels that offer more bang for your buck.

After 9/11, traveling became more difficult. When arriving at my hotel, I want to have the amenities that are important to me. I look for hotels that offer most of what I need without leaving the building. In fact, if my meeting is at the hotel, I make sure that shuttle service is included.

Thus, saving money is a small part of this discussion. The bigger benefits are saving time and the peace of mind that you have what you need for a comfortable and productive stay.

Over the years, I’ve stated in cheap hotels. In some cases, I didn’t want to spend the extra money on a nicer place, and sometimes I had little choice. As a college basketball referee for more than two decades, I’ve been away from my home many nights, which results in many hotel stays.

Here are 3 signs you are staying in a cheap motel …

#1: The price for the hotel is fixed.

I remember officiating a game in Cedar Rapids, IA. Because I was working multiple games in the Midwest, I used Kansas City, MO as my hub. The game at Cedar Rapids finished around 9 p.m., and I began the 6-plus-hour drive back to Kansas City. After a few hours, I was having a tough time staying awake, so I decided to call it a night at the first hotel I could find.

In a small Iowa town, I found vacancy at the Orbit Inn. It didn’t look too nice, but I just needed a few hours of rest. When I approach the night clerk, I asked for the nightly rate. Without hesitation, he said, “$30.”  I asked for the total price, including tax, and he responded, “$30.” I suppose that one way to keep hotels cheap is by charging a nice round number.

#2: The all-in-one engineer approach.

Several years ago I was attending a meeting in Laredo, TX, and stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. This chain of hotels is not always cheap, but it can be described as “economical.”

Upon entering the room, I noticed that the air conditioner was kicking out hot air, so I called the front desk to have a technician take a look at it. I was informed that an “engineer” was on his way. In short order, Samuel walked in and resolved the issue. Several hours later, I was having issues connecting to the internet. I called the front desk to report the problem, and they dispatched an engineer. Surprisingly, Samuel also served the role of technology engineer. He didn’t have the skills set for this problem, but he did recommended re-starting my computer. I figure that a motel can be characterized as “cheap” when there is just one engineer to field all types of problems.

#3: The only room service options are Pizza Hut or Chinese delivery.

An advantage of staying in a high-end hotel is ordering room service. At cheap hotels, however, room service takes on a totally different dimension. In most cases, a black-and-white flyer is placed near the old RCA-style TV detailing the restaurants that deliver to this hotel.

Without fail, a pizza and Chinese restaurant will be on the list. When placing your order, don’t be surprised if these eateries are unable to process credit cards. When they do, they will ask for an additional 5% to cover their merchant fees. The point here is that cheap hotels will make you jump through several hoops just to get a bite to eat.

When staying at a hotel that Hotels.com or TripAdvisor give just one or two stars, you should read the reviews. Invariably, you will find comments similar to the ones I shared here. I am somewhat surprised, though, that people give poor reviews despite knowing that there is a direct relationship between the cost of the hotel and the quality one should expect.

Even after many years, I remember my $30 hotel experience. It wasn’t too great, but for that night, it served the purpose. Sleep well!

A few weeks ago, I decided to stop at the barbershop where I get my haircut. It was 8:15 a.m., and I had a 9:00 a.m. meeting. C.W., the barber who normally cuts my hair, was busy tending to a customer, and I was pushing the start time for my meeting if I waited for him to get done.

The other barber, Rick, was available:

“Sir, would you like to get started?”

I wanted to wait for C.W. but Rick was ready to go, and time was of the essence.

“Sure, I have a meeting soon, and I’m the one facilitating, so it’s important that I get to the webinar on time.”

Chatting During the Haircut

As with most haircut sessions, small talk breaks out between the barber and the customer.

RICK: It sure has been hot out there.

ME: It’s only June, and I think it will get worse.

RICK: What size do you use on the sides?

[I looked over at C.W. and he confirms that I use a 4.]

ME: Unfortunately, I do not have much time today, so perhaps a quick haircut will do. I just need something to hold me over for the next couple of weeks.

RICK: I’ll go as fast as I can. What kind of work do you do?

ME: I spend much of my time training in the area of project management.

RICK: Yeah! My wife can use some of that training. We have a pantry that I don’t recognize anymore. I can say about the same for the closets. Of course, if I remind her about what needs to get done in the house, she’ll point to the garage, and how much cleaning it needs. It’s not really cleaning that it needs … there is too much clutter. She tells me that I need to be on that hoarding show. I guess she’s got a point!

ME: I think project management might help a bit in that area. It’s all about breaking big work into small chunks and getting started. As much as I say that, there are many things I fail to get started. I think that time management is just as important.

RICK: Right, man! What happened to 24 hours per day? I think someone made the day shorter or something. I just can’t seem to get anything done. When I get out of here, it’s already 6:30 p.m. By the time I get home, and pop open my first beer, it’s about 7:30 p.m. I don’t even have time to watch the hoarding show!

ME: I agree! I have this meeting at 9, and another one at 2 and one at 5. That’s nuts!

RICK: Okay! You’re done! One of my fastest haircuts – 10 minutes!

As I left the barbershop, I said “Bye” to C.W. and let him know that I would be back in a couple of weeks. After my 9 a.m. webinar, I went to the mirror in the bathroom, and noticed that my hair looked a little weird. With plenty of gel, it would stay down, but the sides were sticking out way too much.

I realized that I put too much pressure on Rick to get the work done fast. This reminded me that when you try to get something done quick, you often ignore the details. In this case, it will take a couple of weeks before C.W. can correct the problem, but when you make mistakes in business, the consequences might last forever.

Every few months or so, I am reminded of something I observed many years ago while a business colleague and I met for a cocktail after work in Philadelphia. Tony and I decided on a bar near his office to enjoy a good chat.

Dancing Begins

At about 10 p.m., I observed this attractive and confident-looking lady in her mid-20s arrive at the bar by herself. Finding it unusual that she was alone, I mentioned it to Tony. He said, “She is a pretty girl to be on her own. Something must be up!”

Unbeknownst to me, this bar doubled as a discotheque, and we the place gained more energy around 11 p.m. Before long the pretty girl was having a conversation with a man, and her dance night began.

For the next 90 minutes, different men asked her to dance, and she obliged. From what I could tell, she didn’t take any breaks, and she wasn’t drinking. She was there only to dance.

Around midnight, Tony and I decided to leave the bar. Interestingly, the pretty girl also called it quits around that time. She made her way to the exit and departed alone.

The Point

I’ve told this story several times to my friends because I was surprised to see a confident young lady walk into a place alone. It was obvious she didn’t know anyone. In fact, she might have been from outside Philly. I’m not sure.

Even though she didn’t have an acquaintance, she had a mission. She was a good dancer, and that’s all that mattered to her. Heck, even if she lacked dancing skills, her beauty would make up for it.

My Takeaway

There are times when I am nervous about doing something different. I’m in my comfort zone, and I don’t want to get out of it. I might be asked to present a challenging topic to stakeholders that I know will challenge me. Instead of thinking of an excuse, I recall the brave young lady who confidently walked into the bar and held her own.

You need to focus on where you have a competitive edge. You all have a competitive skill;exploit it. In some cases, you need to make that skill better, such as public speaking or leading projects. It’s imperative that you do the back-end work to perfect our core abilities.

The young lady was an excellent dancer, and she commanded attention. Tony and I could tell that she was in her zone. She was not new to this environment. Even then, though, for her to walk into an establishment full of strangers was impressive. She focused on her competitive advantage, which was dancing.

I suppose someday I might develop a sales training course, and I know the perfect example to use as an icebreaker:

“Hello, Everyone! I know every one of you wants to be the best salesperson in this company. I have the secret for you, and I want to share it with you. This story is true, and if you apply what I’m about to tell you, success is inevitable. Many years ago, Tony and I were having a drink in a Philly bar, and we noticed this attractive young lady walk in …”

This past week, I was asked to participate in a lunch meeting sponsored by an organization looking for ideas to embrace emerging technologies. We were contacted via email regarding the meeting, and the coordinator provided a list of lunch options, which included sandwiches and salads. I selected the chef salad because this particular shop is known for making good ones.

To the right of me sat Norma, who also ordered the chef salad. However, I believe she selected the ranch dressing, while I went lighter with balsamic vinaigrette. I noticed that while I poured the dressing on my salad, she took the dipping approach. Every once in a while, she would dip her fork in the dressing. This seemed unusual to me, but I’m definitely not an expert regarding the proper way to eat a salad during a business function.

Before the Food, Norma is Chatty

Here is what I found interesting: Our food arrived about midway into the meeting. Before the arrival of the sandwiches and salads, Norma was fully engaged in the discussion. In fact, she couldn’t stop talking. In one example, she talked for several minutes. She talked for so long that she even made one good point!

After the Food, Norma Goes Dormant

Once the knock on the door came and we were informed that the food had arrived, I noticed Norma’s focus changed. She was no longer interested in the meeting itself. I suppose that the pangs of hunger overcame her. Because this was a working lunch, we continued to discuss the agenda items. However, Norma stopped contributing and focused entirely on devouring her salad.

I did notice that every few minutes Norma would mutter something largely incoherent, but it gave the impression that she was listening. After 20 minutes or so, she was done with her salad, and it appeared that she was energized and ready to get back in the mix.

What’s My Point?

I know some of you are wondering if I was even paying attention to the meeting. After all, it seems that I was preoccupied with Norma, and her salad eating approach. The fact is that I can multitask. Ha!

My point here is that working lunch meetings can disrupt the flow of a discussion. How is the meeting leader supposed to write on the flip chart and eat a sandwich at the same time? Should she put the sandwich down on the table, and get up and write? Is it proper for her to hold the sandwich in one hand while writing with the other? Does this approach distract the audience?

Some of you know that I’m using humorous examples, but think about how awkward it is to conduct and participate in a lunch meeting. When should the food arrive? What type of food should you order? Are boneless chicken wings a good idea? On the one hand, they are tasty, but they are also a bit messy. Who makes the decision on whether it’s wings or something else? This is important.

I finished my salad in about 10 minutes, and Norma was still doing the dipping thing. The two-hour meeting ended, and I felt we only had about 60 minutes of fruitful discussion. One other observation I made, however, was that we had 100% attendance, and I wonder if the free lunch had anything to do with it.

My flight from NY LaGuardia to Denver was even better after receiving a complimentary upgrade to First Class. The 5:45 p.m. flight was on time, we would receive a hearty dinner, and I was looking forward to ordering a Chardonnay or two on this flight. These are perks of flying in the front cabin.

The only downside to this flight was that I had a window seat. I prefer an aisle because it’s easier for me to retrieve items from the overhead compartment and use the bathroom. It was the last seat in First Class, so beggars can’t be choosers, right?

The Pretty Flight Attendant

A few minutes after finding my seat, flight attendant Deborah asked for my drink choice. I responded: “White wine, please.” She thanked me for the order and walked away. A bit later, she returned with the wine, and said: “This will help you relax a bit.”

Deborah was a pretty woman, and she carried herself professionally. I found her more talkative than most flight attendants, but nothing too unusual. My guess was that she was in her early 40s, but I couldn’t really tell.

Guessing Her Age

After getting airborne, Deborah asked for drink orders and meal preferences. One male passenger (Rick) was flirting a bit with her, and the following conversation ensued:

RICK: You’re sure in a good mood tonight.

DEBORAH: Denver is my home, and I’m looking forward to spending a few days around the house.

RICK: I knew there had to be something. You were taking drink orders with a smile, and you have a hop to your step.

DEBORAH: I didn’t know someone my age could have a hop to her step.

RICK: You can’t be too old? I’m guessing late 30s, right?

[I’m sure Rick was taking a very conservative guess. She was definitely north of 40.]

DEBORAH: You’re sweet, but that’s not right.

[Deborah decided to involve about four men in guessing her age. Given my proximity to the conversation, I was included. Yikes!]

ME: You know … it’s tough for me to guess, but I say early 40s – very early!

[I needed to add “early” – sounds much better. One other man guessed mid-30s, which was obviously wrong. The last person picked 42.]

DEBORAH: I have to tell you that you are all wrong! I will turn 50 in June of this year. Can you believe it?

ME: Never would’ve guessed it.

[Safe comment!]

RICK: I still think you are 39.

[I guess this is his pick-up line – not sure!]

DEBORAH: You guys are so nice. I feel much better now!

While the conversation was jovial and entertaining, especially since most of us had a couple drinks down, it wasn’t necessary to play the age game, right? She was, after all, very attractive, despite her age.

Then again … perhaps we made her feel better by guessing a younger age. Come to think of it, she didn’t look anywhere close to 50. I suppose I need to stop worrying about the intent, and focus more on the fact that we all benefitted from this fun exercise.