Month: March 2015 Page 5 of 6

We all have different names that we don’t like others to call us. For some reason, they don’t sound right, or they make us feel uncomfortable. I guess it’s similar to calling someone by his middle name, even though he’s made it clear that he doesn’t  like it. We do it just to make life harder on him.

I would like to mention that I have officiated men’s college basketball for many years, which means that I’ve been called many things that are far from nice. However, that is a different setting. These hecklers don’t know me, and I don’t know them. In other words, they don’t care about me, and I could care less about them.

I’m writing here about names I’m called in a “friendly” setting, such as when I’m attending a meeting, buying groceries at the supermarket, or attending a WNBA game.

Here are the 3 names that I’d rather not be called:

Buddy

I actually don’t like “buddy” used in any way when trying to get my attention, such as …

• “Hey, Buddy!”
• “How can I help you, buddy?”
• “Are you doing ok, buddy?”
• “What’s on your mind, buddy?”

For some reason, I despise “buddy.” I would rather the person not speak to me. I guess it seems like the person is trying to get into my personal space too quickly. If the person knows me, I prefer they call me by my name, and not by a made-up name that refers to just anyone.

Boss

In some cases, people who don’t know me call me “boss.” How can I be their boss when I never hired them? How do they know I have the qualifications to be a real boss?

Since I’m a business owner, I know that the title of “boss” shouldn’t be used lightly. Why … we have so many responsibilities, including making tough decisions, and ensuring payroll is done timely. Does the person referring to me as “boss” expect me to pay him every two weeks, too?

Guy

Guy is an interesting name to be called. Does one have to be man to be called “guy”? If I were a woman, would the person call me “gal”? Regardless, I know that the name “guy” turns me off, and I cringe when someone tries to gain my attention in this way.

• “Hi, Guy!”
• “Let me tell you, guy, this is a good car for you.”
• “Guy, can you get the door for me”?
• “Ok, guy. Just know that I’m here to help you.”

“Guy” has little meaning to me. I guess “buddy” would be better, but I don’t like either one.

I suppose some of you are wondering what my point is with this discussion. In truth, I’m not sure. Actually, I do have a point to make … it’s far better to call someone by their preferred name, and not by a weak name that has little meaning. If we don’t know their given name, we can refer to them as “Mr.” or “Miss.” It’s better to keep it professional.

I’m unsure how I would react if I had this dialogue with someone:

Other Person: “How are you doing, buddy?”

 Me: “I’m doing fine. Thank you.”

Other Person: “C’mon, Guy! I’m sure you are doing far better than just fine!”

Me: “I guess you are right. The day is going super!”

Other Person: “Right on, Boss!”

No way!

While attending a meeting in downtown San Antonio, I had an interesting discussion with a lady in her mid-20s (Christy). I’m unsure why she was assigned as a participant to this meeting because she was too engaged with Facebook on her Dell laptop. Nonetheless, as soon as the break was called, she and I had the following conversation:

CHRISTY: It’s nice that we are on break now. I can’t believe they ran out of pastries. I’m so hungry!

ME: I noticed the food went pretty quick. I think they still have coffee and some juices.

CHRISTY: I’m not much of a coffee drinker, but I do like to eat. Ever since I graduated high school, I’ve been gaining weight. I think it’s probably more because of the travel that I do around the world.

ME: I guess we don’t eat that well when we’re on the run.

CHRISTY: I know I don’t! I travel to Hawaii nearly every couple of weeks. If not in Hawaii, I’m in Europe just touring. That’s not all … I just returned from Central America.

ME: Where did you go in Central America?

CHRISTY: We spent a few days in Argentina, and then went to Brazil.

[I’m unsure when Argentina and Brazil became part of Central America, but she was adamant about her knowledge of geography.]

ME: It’s great that you have the opportunity to travel to many fun destinations. Finding the time can be difficult for me.

CHRISTY: It’s not too difficult for me. My husband … well, my new one … makes $158,000 per year, so we have the money to spend.

ME: That’s pretty good. What kind of work does he do?

CHRISTY: He is some kind of engineer. I’m not exactly sure, though. I just know how much he makes.

ME: We have about five minutes left on the break, so let me grab some coffee.

CHRISTY: That sounds good. I know it’s only 10:45 in the morning, but I am already tired of this meeting. I have lunch plans with friends who are super rich, so I’m going to take off early. These are “friends” that I cannot stand up. They make a lot of money like we do, so I need to be there. That’s just the way it goes.

ME: Yeah? Where are you going for lunch?

CHRISTY: Don’t know yet, but I’m sure they will call me when I’m in my Mercedes and tell me where to meet them.

After Christy left the meeting, I had a quick discussion with one of her colleagues who heard part of the conversation. I learned that Christy made it a habit of embellishing her social status. In most cases, she completely made up the story, such as the Central America trip.

Over the years, I have met people who seek attention by telling us something they are not. However, Christy does take the cake. I have another meeting soon where she will be in attendance, and I’m excited to hear what is “new” in her life.

I belong to a group that decided to have a potluck dinner at the next event, and everyone agreed to bring something to eat or drink. I’m generally not too good at figuring out what to bring, so I asked around, and a friend recommended a cheese-and-cracker tray. I figured this was a safe bet because wine was going to be offered.

The Meeting

The meeting was scheduled for 6 p.m., and I arrived right on time. The food smelled great. One person made his favorite beef fajita recipe, and it was off the charts! A lady brought a terrific spicy salsa that complimented the fajitas perfectly. She made it a point to tell us that she used vegetables from her own garden for the salsa. My cheese-and-cracker option was just okay, but at least I did not walk in empty-handed.

Shortly after I arrived, someone said, “Well, let’s eat! I’m hungry.” As soon as these words were uttered, a group of people made their way to the food table. One guy made a beeline to the wine bottles. Before long, he had uncorked several of them. Even thought it was billed as a meeting, the feeling was festive and party-like.

The Non-Participants

There were three people who sat in their chairs, deciding not to join us for the food and drinks. I quickly assumed that they were embarrassed to participate because they didn’t bring anything to share.

They used the common excuses:

• “I already ate, so I’m not hungry!”
• “I had a huge lunch!”
• “I’m not feeling too well. I’m going to pass tonight.”

However, we all knew they felt uncomfortable because they failed to participate. I suppose they forgot about the potluck dinner. After a little bit of encouragement, two of them agreed to “try” the excellent food and have a glass of Chardonnay.

End of Meeting

As is normal with most potluck meals, there is far too much food. For example, someone decided to bring an entire bucket of KFC chicken. Given the health-conscious nature of people, most of the chicken was still in the bucket at the end of the night. However, the wine was going fast. It’s funny how even when the wine is not the best, it still seems to go first. Weird!

When the meeting ended, Marty, who failed to bring anything to the dinner, was hanging around making small conversation with those who remained. Most everyone took home any extra food that was left. The fajitas were gone, and so was most of the salsa, but the KFC chicken and desserts were still on the table.

Marty asked, “Is anyone going to take this home? If not, I’m sure my kids will eat it.” He was not bashful. Within short order, he found a couple of bags to help carry as many of the items to his car. Fortunately, I was able to get the cheese-and-cracker tray before he could grab it.

I might be overreacting, but it does look a bit unusual for someone to show up without any food to a potluck dinner, and yet walk away with a bag full of goodies. I guess it’s best to take a generous perspective here. When Marty walks into the house with the yummy cheesecake, his wife and kids are going to be happy.

However, I’m unsure how they will feel about the plastic silverware that he threw in the bag.

Oh, well!

I decided to have a Subway sandwich for lunch last week, and I observed that a 40+ man was far too friendly with the employees. He and his teenage son were ahead of me, and his abundance of feel-good comments made my wait even longer.

Being nice and professional is fine, but it appeared to me that some of his comments were borderline weird. That is my opinion, and others might think they were normal, and possibly conclude that I’m the weird one.

To paint the picture, let me provide some examples of the comments I remember:

• “You’re working far too hard back there. It’s time for a break!”
• “Wow! The bread smells terrific in that baking thing [known as the oven]. You are good at what you do!”
• “I know it’s hard to take orders when working the drive-thru, especially a Subway sandwich. There are too many combinations. You’re pretty good at listening with that ear device [called a headset]. I’m sure it takes a lot of practice.”
• “Cleaning that stuff from the floor [known as dirt] sure takes some patience. I can tell your manager is happy with your work. I’m sure not many people are willing to take on that job.”

Enough!

There’s more!

• “You’re fast with the vegetables. Your hearing is good because I’m actually speaking kind of low.”
• “It’s great that I came in today. This is probably the best Subway staff I’ve seen in years! You guys do good work.”

Mind you … I’m in line waiting for my turn. I almost hesitated to compliment the sandwich maker person. Even a “Please” or “Thank you” might lack the impact after Mr. Friendly maxed them out.

My turn finally came, and I ordered the 6-inch tuna on wheat, selected the vegetables, added a bit of olive oil as the dressing, and asked them to sprinkle some salt-and-pepper. After selecting the baked potato chips and a bottled Diet Coke, my order was complete.

Interestingly, Mr. Nice Guy’s comments were still in my mind, and it made me lose my concentration. In fact, as I approached the door to leave the sandwich shop, the employee called, “Sir, you forgot your sandwich!” Foolishly, I walked back and put it in the plastic bag, and blamed the temporary amnesia on a strong dose of Vitamin B, which come to think of it, was a silly comment.

Mr. Friendly’s son was not bothered with his father’s approach. In fact, I think he appreciated that his dad was complimentary of everything under the sun. I noticed they both were having a funny father-son discussion while they enjoyed their meatball sandwiches.

As I reflect on the situation, I think the problem is me. He was friendly, even if he went too far. He was doing his best to be complimentary, and perhaps that’s his nature. It sure seemed weird, but at least he was trying to be courteous. The opposite is a mean and bitter approach, and no one wants to see that.

You know … next time I’m at Subway I just might give that friendly approach a try.

On a Tuesday afternoon, I was making my way from one meeting to the next. The San Antonio weather was nice on this particular day, and the warm sunshine made it even better. The quickest way for my 2 p.m. meeting was taking Interstate-35, which runs North-and-South through the Alamo City.

A few miles from my destination, and trekking at about 65 mph, I noticed something unusual in the right lane of the freeway. A white SUV slowed down suddenly. In fact, it appeared the vehicle stalled. I took a close look and observed that fire was coming from under the car.

Stop!

I decided to do what any other concerned citizen might do in similar circumstances. That is, offer my assistance. Of course, I have next to nil experience as an EMT, and I don’t carry a fire extinguisher in my vehicle. The least I could do was make sure that anyone in the vehicle was evacuated safely.

I parked my car about 40 feet in front of the burning vehicle and rushed to see how I could help. To my surprise, a young lady was still sitting in the driver’s side, and she didn’t seem too nervous about the situation. I informed her that flames were coming from under her SUV, and she quickly unbuckled her seatbelt and ran from the car.

Immediately after my arrival, another gentleman stopped to render aid. He carried a fire extinguisher, and attempted to put out the fire. However, the intensity was too much, and his efforts were to no avail.

The Aftermath

By the time I called 911, several other folks had done the same. The San Antonio Fire Department (SAFD) was there within minutes, and they quickly extinguished the flames. However, the SUV appeared to be a total loss. At one time, it was completely engulfed in flames. I was startled when loud pop noises pierced through the air after the tires exploded.

With my iPhone in hand, I decided to take a few pictures, and even record a video of the situation. I informed the terrified woman that I could provide this information in case her insurance company asked for it. I also provided my business card so that she could reach me. The fire diffused, and the situation under the control of the SAFD, I decided to make my way to the meeting.

Rebecca Contacted Me

About a week later, Rebecca, the woman whose car caught fire, sent an email thanking me for helping her … see below …

Hello –

My name is Rebecca. I’m not sure if I even introduced myself to you. I was the lady you helped last week when my truck caught on fire.

I can’t thank you enough! You saved my life because I didn’t even know it was on fire. I thought it was just over heating so thank you again. You are an angel sent from above because you actually stopped to help out. Again, I appreciate everything you did to help me on that day.

Rebecca

I’m writing about this situation not to pat myself on the back. As I noted earlier, I did what most any of us would do when faced with this scenario. I know that I will be in a similar situation sometime in the future, and I hope someone takes the time to make sure I am fine.

I was recently visiting Orlando, Florida. I wanted to make one more stop in Ft. Lauderdale before coming home, so I purchased a ticket on a smaller carrier that flies this short route.

Boarding the Flight

Upon boarding the airplane, I noticed that the flight attendant (Sandy) was quite friendly.

ME: Good morning!

SANDY: Good morning!

ME: I’m the first one on the flight today. Now I have to find space to put this big carry-on bag.

SANDY: You might need to take some stuff out, but it can be done.

ME: Yeah, I’ve done it before. How are you?

SANDY: Much better now that you’re onboard.

[I didn’t know how to take this comment, but I was able to think of something before walking towards my seat.]

ME: You’re sweet. Glad to be here!

The Flight

There were plenty of open seats on this flight, and I was fortunate to have an exit row aisle. These seats are as close as you will get to First Class on a small aircraft. On the other side of the aisle sat a man (Cliff) in his late 40s. He and I struck up a conversation about Florida, and I soon learned that he also lived in Texas.

During the in-cabin service, Cliff purchased a Bloody Mary, and this early morning request led to a jovial conversation with Sandy, which lasted for a few minutes. During this short chat, they both even shared they were divorced.

After Sandy continued with the service, Cliff told me that he was going to grab a business card and give it to Sandy. He lived in Texas, and Sandy stated she was going to take a job with another airline in Texas, so it could work out for them.

Cliff and I discussed the strategy of how he was going to give her the card. We were about middle-of-the-pack in the airplane, so there would be passengers behind us, and he was nervous about how Sandy would react.

We discussed different lines he could use:

• “Sandy, it was good meeting you. Stay in touch!”
• “Now that you’re moving to Texas, let’s have lunch.”
• “Let me know if you need any help when moving to Texas.” [This one was a bit weird, but we were brainstorming.]

Game Time!

Finally, the flight arrives in Ft. Lauderdale, and we are in the deplaning process. Cliff seems even more nervous now. As the “dating” coach, I remind him that he will do well. What’s the worst that can happen? She could deny the card, but this is not too likely. She seems nice enough to at least take the card with a smile.

Cliff finally approaches the front of the plane, and he makes eye contact with Sandy. The cockpit door is open, and the captain is standing sideways, not paying any attention to departing passengers.

I hear Cliff say, “Sandy, it was great talking with you. Have a great rest of the day!”

No! This is not what we practiced! The first part of the line was fine, but he needed to tell her that they should stay in touch. Of course, providing his business card is a must! It didn’t happen!

This lesson taught me one of two things: (1) I’m a poor dating coach, or (2) Cliff got cold feet. I guess there is probably a reason this encounter didn’t happen. I suppose.

I attended a charity auction recently, and was intrigued with the back-and-forth bidding for the “Principal of the Day” prize. The annual auction held by this private high school in San Antonio features some extravagant items, even a 30-day around-the-world cruise. As you can already tell, the school is tailored for individuals with deep pockets.

Principal for the Day

Parents bid on the prize of making their teenager principal for a day. The student will get the opportunity to take control of the school for the day, and will be envy of all the students. Probably not!

The bidding started at $200, and I thought it was going to fizzle quickly. I understand that a principal’s job is challenging, but I’m sure the winner will have limited powers. The highlight of the day might be ringing the bell, or making an end-of-day announcement. “It was great being your principal today. Thank you for behaving!” What can you really say?

The Eager Bidders

After the bidding hit $500, there were just two dads in the game. From what I know, their kids are rivals in the school, and the parents will do whatever possible to get the upper hand.

The bidding soon soared past the $1,000 and kept climbing. Many in the crowd were as shocked as I was that this prize was so valuable. Some wondered if they misunderstood the prize. Did it include the principal’s salary or part of his retirement benefits?

Given I knew the background between the two fathers, I understood they were going to keep raising the ante. Finally, the bidding slowed when at the $1,500 mark. The incremental increases were now in the $20 range and not in the hundreds.

The Winner! 

The auctioneer raised the price to $1,700, and one father held us up his card. Like in a tennis match, the crowd swung their heads to the other bidder. Showing nervousness, and at the same time some level of relief, he shook his head. The $1,700 price was too high, and he was prepared to lose this battle.

The winner was announced, and a smattering of applause was heard throughout the crowd. The winning parent looked more embarrassed than happy. I could sense the wife was a bit overwhelmed with the price, but looked happy that her hubby stuck with it and offered the highest bid. After all, her son could now rule the school for one entire day.

Takeaway

I’m not sure where to begin with the takeaway. I understand this was a charity event, and the money will be used for scholarships, textbooks, enhancements in technology, and so on. The benefits are obvious.

From a parent’s standpoint, I wonder the message this sends our children. “My dad paid $1,700 for me to be principal for the day.” It’s unlikely that line will carry any weight during a job interview. Moreover, leadership positions have more value when earned, and not bought.

Come to think of it … many of the problems we have around the world today arise from people who want something of value without the desire to earn it on their own.

I attended the graduation of a family member who recently completed his 4-year degree from a university in Central Texas. The graduation was scheduled for Saturday at 2 p.m., and I decided to drive up a bit earlier, which would allow me to get a good view to take pictures.

When I arrived at the facility, I ran into a colleague who worked at the university. He seemed a bit pre-occupied, which was normal because of the many duties assigned to him pertaining to the ceremony.

Our Chat

Me: Hey, Willie! It’s good to see you.

Willie: Jimmie! I heard from Sam (my nephew) that you were coming today. Glad that you could make it.

Me: I wanted to get a good seat, so I came early. It’s just 1 p.m., so I am here super-early. You look busy!

Willie: Yeah. Way too busy! I’m not sure why I’m always in charge of so much graduation-related stuff. I was supposed to have help from Martina, but her husband is ill, and she can’t make it.

Me: Is there anything I can do to help you?

Willie: Look … we are expecting the commencement speaker, and he was scheduled to arrive from Dallas at 12:45 p.m., but I haven’t seen him. Do you mind waiting near the front of the building for him? His name is Charlie.

Me: No problem. Let me go do that right now.

Willie: When he gets here. Please escort him to the stage area right through that door.

Me: You got it!

With my new orders, I went to the front of the building, and waited for about 10 minutes. At close to 1:15 p.m.there was no sign of Charlie. I waited another 5 minutes, and still no Charlie. I thought perhaps he snuck in through a side or back door. I went to Willie for additional guidance.

Me: Willie, I haven’t seen Charlie. Has he called you?

Willie: Let me check my phone. I have a voicemail, so let me see who called. It’s a phone number from the 214 area code, and that is Dallas, right?

Me: I think so.

Willie: Woah! He did call, and apparently his car stalled in Waco, and doesn’t think he will make it.

Me: What is your back-up plan?

Willie: I don’t think we have one. I know we need a commencement speaker.

Me: Why don’t you ask a dean or the president?

Willie: That just won’t look right. We need someone from outside the university to deliver a good message. How about you?

Me: You’re joking, right?

Willie: We really need you.

Me: Let me give it a try.

I had about 25 minutes to prepare for the commencement speech. I wrote six major points to cover, and used plenty of examples. We had more than 1,000 attendees, and the speech went fine. It wasn’t perfect, but I’m glad that I accepted the challenge.

Of course, the next time I would hope to get at least 24-hours notice.

P.S.: While I don’t smoke, someone gave me a cigar, and I decided to pretend! I think it calmed my nerves (see picture).

After three weeks of using NFL replacement referees during the regular season, the National Football League is under tremendous pressure to settle the labor dispute with its officials. The Green Bay at Seattle Monday Night Football matchup had to be a nightmare experience for Commissioner Roger Goodell. There were a few notable blown calls during the game, and the ruling of a touchdown that gave Seattle the win was a misinterpretation of the catch rule.

My NBA Experience

I have more than 20 years of experience refereeing basketball games at different levels, from junior high all the way to the NBA. To clarify … I was never an NBA referee, but while living in Houston, I was asked to officiate a few Houston Rocket scrimmages.

My comfort level is with Division I collegiate games, such as Wyoming vs. Colorado State or Texas-Arlington at Sam Houston State. While the games can be tough to officiate at this level, my skills have improved to the point at which I can hold my own in these games.

Differently, I remember walking onto the floor to work the Houston Rocket scrimmage. When I observed the 7 ft. tall Hakeem Olajuwon catch the ball and make a quick move to the basket, I was surprised by his agility. While I had officiated big men in the past, none of them had this level of skill.

What is My Point?

The NFL replacement officials are not rookies. Most have many years of officiating experience, but at a lower level. I’m certain that many of them are in awe when watching the speed of the players. The game itself also moves much faster, and the consequences when making a mistake are bigger than missing the same call in a JUCO football game.

There were times when I would work nearly a month of Division I collegiate games before a small college assignment appeared on my schedule. I quickly observed that the lower level game was easier to work. It almost seemed to move in slow motion. I was used to the fast-pace of the highly-skilled players.

Respect Makes a Difference

One important aspect in officiating is having the respect of coaches and players. I’ve known some referees that are average, but they have two decades of experience. Through longevity, they have gained the respect from coaches.

The replacement referees have not gained respect, which means that coaches and players are constantly complaining about calls, even the ones they get right. The barrage of complaints makes it hard to focus on officiating the game. In some cases, they are distracted to the point that a call is missed. Once officials show they can be intimidated, the coaches and players are in control of the game, which causes anarchy.

The NFL replacement referees have a tough job, but they did sign up for it. My guess is that the NFL leadership team underestimated the experience and knowledge of its officials. Refereeing at the highest level requires competent and confident referees who understand the spirit and intent of the rules. Experienced officials are less likely to making glaring mistakes, such as those we are witnessing with the temporary refs.

The NFL put a low priority on the importance of its officiating, and today Commissioner Goodell is looking for a workable solution that will allow him to save face.

As in any other subdivision, there are several stop signs and speed bumps near where I live. The speed limit is a weird 21 mph. For the most part, homeowners in our area adhere to the law, and I haven’t observed any accidents since I moved there in 2003.

The Situation

After a long day of work, somewhere around 7 p.m., I traveled down a street that I consider the shorter route to my house. In reality, it saves me about 30 seconds, but that’s enough to make a difference, especially when I’m trying to get home to a sensible dinnertime.

About a block from my home, there is a 4-way stop. Many of us slow down, almost to a complete stop, but we proceed if the way is clear. On this particular evening, traffic was quiet, and I must admit that I did not come to a complete stop.

The Self-Appointed Cop

A man driving a Ford Explorer was approaching the intersection, and he observed that I rolled the stop sign. I noticed that he turned left, which was unusual because most motorists take a right, which leads them out of the subdivision. Of course, this meant that he was coming after me.

On this particular evening, I decided to park my car in the driveway, which gave him a chance to confront me.

Appointed Cop: Are you aware that you didn’t come to a complete stop?

Me: I guess you’re right. I slowed down, but noticed that no one was around.

Appointed Cop: We have laws around here.

[I’m not sure if he meant that other parts of the United States don’t have laws.]

Me: Yes. I’m sure we have laws.

Appointed Cop: You need to make sure and stop next time.

Me: It’s probably best that you get on your way. I have dinner plans with my family, and need to go.

Following someone to his home is probably not a good idea. I decided to take the high-road and walk away, but there are many other cases in which the situation could get volatile. Does this newly appointed cop plan to patrol the stop signs in our neighborhood and will follow all violators to their homes? I guess he might consider making a citizen’s arrest.

The point here is that those of us who live in the subdivision are careful and, for the most part, we follow the traffic laws. Rolling through a stop sign is an issue, but the San Antonio Police Department (SAPD) has yet to assign an officer to cite those who violate. My guess is that the issue is of small importance.

How to solve this predicament? Let’s assume that I follow the traffic laws from that day forward, and always make a complete stop. Will this make the newly appointed officer happy? Since this encounter, I have been more conscious of the stop sign, and perhaps even meet the traffic requirement on most occasions.

However, I did notice the other day that I beat someone to the same 4-way stop, but she decided to go before me. Should I follow her home and scold her for failing to give me the right of way?

Unfortunately, when I needed him the most, our eager police officer was nowhere to be found.